You have been blessed with that special someone, you have decided to become one. You have also been blessed with additions to your new family. What’s next?
One thing about blending is that you have to have a foundation set. You have to be able to transition into this special place. Sometimes when you get children involved you have many emotions. There are questions why did you choose them. There may also be rebellion.
Blending Families comes with love and guidance from the Lord. I can say that I didn’t seek the Knowledge and guidance of God on how to properly blend, so in the beginning we didn’t have a proper blend it was actually a little lumpy. I was a single mom and it had been me and my son for years, so there was a lump of someone taking over as man of the house. My husband had two kids. One daughter and one son. Our son was young so he adjusted quicker. The daughter well she seen another women trying to take her father away.
Now we have arrived at 8 years later and our lumps are smoother, we are a unit but not without added prayer and living word. One thing that you have to have is patience when you are taking something new, and added it to something old you have to be willing to accept the hiccups, along the way. There has to be a willingness to stretch the fabric of your family until it fits the threads of what you are trying to build.
How to blend with ease:
Once you have decided to become one find out what each other expects. Speaking from experience I was protective over my son because it was just us. What we should have done was had a discussion on the roles that we wanted each other so that there will be less resistance.
When you begin your journey as one you have to see yourself as a second parent in the lives of your spouse children. You can no longer be selfish when you chose your mate you chose all of them not the part that works for you.
Pray Pray Pray!!! Depending on the relationship with the ex will determine the relationship with the children. Some will taint and tarnish your image for selfish gain, some will accept the fact that they are better co-parents. No matter the status you will need continuous prayer.
Treat the children as though they are your own, this will keep confusion down, how can you expect your spouse to treat your children a certain way, when you are not willing to give them the same. This is disrespectful in my eyes even when you are not getting the warm and fuzzy from the kids you will have peace in knowing that you did all you could and this reduces the stress of the blend.
The union blessings.
these are the children you have together. Though they are siblings there still may be some emotions that has to be released. you have your children that came when you came. Then you have the children together. Then you have jealousy and resentment. kids have to adapt to change and when you see that you new siblings are growing up in the same house with mom and dad it could make for a touchy situation. Our oldest girl displayed these feelings when our baby girl was born. her comment and tears “I do like her I do love her” seem strange at the time. We realized without her saying it another women getting daddy to herself. which is something each of them may have thought. That is why it is important to make each child feel special.
Marriage comes with challenges, and even more when you are blending, but know there is nothing too hard for God. So don’t worry about the coming together, because sometimes the more ingredients added the greater the outcome.